Articles of Interest for Musicians by Ellistrations

Bassoonist.... Reinvent Yourself !
by
Ellistrations Music Apparel and Gifts

Go ahead, take inventory. You've been laughed at. Ridiculed. Youv'e been called "bed post holder", "double reed geek" and the worst insult of all..."sewage pipe sucker". It's not your parent's fault and it certainly isn't the bassoon's fault. You really can't blame anyone but yourself. Look at your appearance, you look like a reject from "Leave it to Beaver".

Yeah, sure, you know all of the answers to Jeopardy and you probably have a clean driving record, but that does not cut it in today's world. You have talent, there's no doubt about that. But talent isn't required anymore, because it's all about image. (If you don't believe me, watch a few reality shows on TV and you'll see what I'm saying is true.)

We know what you need. You need an image change and a check up from the neck up. To make it simple, you need a personality enema. Take a good long look at the image below. Isn't this the way it is? (Unless you're a female bassoonist, then just add a purse.) All nice and polite. A real dream boat. At this rate you'll probably wind up as an Accountant or a Human Resource Specialist, a fate worse than death.

Now, scroll down the page to see the new direction that your life is going to take. Don't be afraid, you can always resume your Clark Kent lifestyle when you go home to Mommy every night.

From the mild mannered you, to.......

The New You !

You are no longer unsure of yourself. You swagger down the the street of life with a renewed confidence that says, "Yeah, I'm a double reed player, a BASSOONIST in fact. Wanna rumble, huh? I've got a nice, sharp reed shaving knife in my back pocket and I'm not afraid to use it either, punk!"

You have all kinds of new biker buddies to hang out with. The opposite sex that is now attracted to you, is no longer the variety that takes a dump in your front yard. No longer do you hear snotty little nicknames like, "bazooka blower". Now, your neighbors refer to you with cool monikers like "Buzz" or "Reed Double X"

As if you haven't noticed, your clothes have changed too. Now, you are wearing the hippest new apparel. Click here to see what I mean. Not only have your clothes changed, now you are listening to different kinds of bassoon music. Music that you probably never knew existed. What kind of music am I refering to? Well, click here you radical!

Now, you are ready to take on the world, or at least the rehearsal hall and never forget that you heard it at Ellistrations Music Apparel first!